Tiny People, Little Guns

I'm still a little girl so STOP treating me like an adult.
Since when did I become so respectful?

Yrrem samtsirhc

Christmas faux-pas number 375:
Don't give people gifts you like, give people gifts THEY like.

1. Thank you for the candle-holder-glass-plastic-thingie! How did you know I needed one of those? It makes me want to light a candle right away!
2. Awww, you gave me one of those glass balls with snow inside everyone has on tv! Now I'm gonna be so popular! Wait until my best friend sees it! She's going to be so jealous!
3. Why buy Ferrero Rocher when you can offer me a cheap chocolate that tastes like crap? At least it will be different! You're so considerate and original!
4. Two minuscule-super-thin-white-paper-notepads you can get from any souvenir store? Artists love to draw in see-through leafs didn't you know? They react so awesome to watercolor, it's amazing.
5. Those furry synthetic fluorescent orange socks with black cat footprints you gave me last year are so in this season, I'll be sure to wear them on my next date!

Meeting John/Peter/Frank/Jack

I always though meeting people at parties was kind of tricky, and by parties I mean alcohol filled parties.
Meeting (fictional name here) may provide us a good time, being drunk together sounds cool, seeing him puke in a corner - not so cool at all. You wake up the next day and see the same person in a different atmosphere just to find out he is reading Plato quietly and enjoying it.

What the hell is going on?!

The guy who ran naked and tripped in a poured drink, falling comically on the ground is actually a crazy Jesus freak who goes to church every Sunday and helps little grandma cross the road.

I don't dislike it, I kind of find it very amusing and surprising.

You can NEVER judge by first impression, white sheep may turn into big bad wolves and crazy weird people may be sentimental kittens.
In the middle of all this deviations, who am I to everybody? How do people judge me as they meet me? What kind of impressions am I passing through? Maybe I'm giving the opposite of what I really want to transmit.

I don't like it, I kind of find it very scary and frustrating.

Twist no More

No, I don't have a pijamma like that, that is too comic looking.
No, my bed in not at floor level, actually you have to climb up to reach the comfy sheets and pillow, which, by the way, are not the ones drawn.
It is not even me who is sleeping, it could be someone else, I don't have a big nose.
Now... Do you see those black little holes between the bed and the sheets?

See
See?
SEE?!

Those are MINE!
MY black holes under the sheets! Those poorly represented holes are actually spaces where cold air enters my bed in the winter nights, and I HATE THEM!
They never disappear, I turn and turn just to make them grow, that's it! They feed on my turnarounds, providing me an even more restless night, oh THANK YOU black damn holes!

I have no other choice than to sleep like a strudel...

Little Lambcat

"Mary had a little lamb,
little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
whose fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went,
the lamb was sure to go."

I've been trying to understand the meaning of this song but I fail to do so. I am the only Mary in the World as you may know and I haven't got a lamb so I ain't got a clue where did they got their inspiration from.

Who sang this blasphemy anyway? Is this supposed to be funny?
And who is Sarah Josepha Hale? What kind of name is Sarah?

I do have a little cat and if they want to change the lyrics to "little cat" I'll be more than pleased to retract my allegations... At least until my cat dies, that song would make me unhappy if I hear it at that time.
Also they should change the part where it chases me because my cat is anti-social and she doesn't leave the house either, even if she did the only way she could follow me to college was if she jumped in the bus and then catch the subway, which I don't think it's possible.
So the realistic update of the song would have to be something like:

"Mary had a little cat,
little cat, little cat,
Mary had a little cat,
whose fur was white, brown, grey and yellow as (insert something like that here).
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went,
the cat was sure to stay at home sleeping somewhere."

Beautiful! Please make the proper corrections now and I'll contact you later for copyrights.

100%

Do notice what is written above 100%....
If you don't know what it means go search google for the left word, I'm not saying, gotta maintain my young naive posture and besides it would be no fun!
Just don't search google images, I warned you.

Is the Limit

At least that's what they say. The sky is a very modest boundary if you ask me. Having the science and technology development in mind they could change it to "planet Mars is the limit" to cause more impact but that would make them sound very weird and geeky.

What would you think if you complained
"I can't make it on time"
and someone said
"Pluto is the limit!"

I wouldn't share bubblegum with this kind of people, nor would I sit next to it. I bet they wear sunglasses at night and drink their tea in Star Wars cups.

How Uncivilized of Me...

I know I'm posting again but I just couldn't resist putting this here.
There is something terribly irresistible in men with naughty faces and evil grins.
For those who don't recognize the portrayed lads:
- Danny Elfman, I completely worship this man, he was the former vocalist of Oingo Boingo, my favourite band. Nowadays he makes scores for Tim Burton's movies.
- Malcolm McDowell, main character in Clockwork Orange, one of my favorite movies of all time, it is simply a masterpiece.
- No need to say, Jack Nicholson, known by his devilish eyebrows, he is pretty messed up now.
- Gaspard Ulliel, french actor that made one of the movies from the Hannibal Canibal sequence, he played young Hannibal Lector in Hannibal Rising.
- Pretty obvious, Harrison Ford playing Han Solo, has less of the naughty twing but he is pretty expressive as well.

Cool City

OINGO BOINGO, COOLcity

ICYsteel shooting through concrete, COOLcity
Mountains of glass REFLECT the sky
Everybody feels real good in COOLcity
Each DAY brings a new surprise
Johnny came two-thousand miles to COOLcity
He came to sEE what makes things T i C k
He cut his hair and bought NEW clothes in COOLcity
Finally found his life's AMbiTIon

How to do NOTHINGperfectly
To do it with STYLE so gracefully
'Cause life is so delicious in COOLcity

(...)

Someone's standing in a doorway, COOLcity
You OP EN the door and check him out so casually
The music's blASTing all night long in COOLcity
They recognize his face, so it's all right
This one knew the RIGHTaddress
He even knew someone in a band
While the others wait all night standing there in
COOLcity

So hard to make the RIGHTfriends
You might have to sell some skin
The nights go on F O R E V E R
in COO-O-OOOLcityyyyyyyy